Alaska state troopers laid down spike strips across the road in Fairbanks to stop a man who was fleeing, ripping the rubber off of his two front tires. But he continued to drive on the rims, finally being apprehended on the Old Valdez Trail in Salcha, 19 miles away.
AND THERE’S NOT A JURY IN THE LAND THAT WILL CONVICT HIM … The passenger in a car in East Deer Township, Pa., was arrested for choking the driver, because he continued to sing Christmas songs despite being repeatedly asked to stop.
HE REALIZES NOW THAT HE MAY HAVE BEEN WRONG … A man, who is not to be trifled with as he has been convicted of crimes 38 times, was assaulted outside a bar in Sale, England. So he got a chainsaw from his truck, fired it up, and went into the bar to seek revenge on those who attacked him. Fortunately, he was tackled to the floor before he could hurt anybody. His attorney told the court, “In hindsight, he should not have reacted this way.”
EVERYTHING OK IN THERE, HON? … A shoplifter drank a six-pack of beer in the changing room at the Target in Lathrop, Calif., where she stayed for over an hour, before walking out of the store with $200 worth of merchandise which she did not pay for.
MMMM, SOMEBODY SMELLS LIKE COOKIES … A woman was charged with driving under the influence in New Canaan, Conn., after getting drunk on vanilla extract.
HOW COME I HAVE SO MANY NEW ‘FRIEND’ REQUESTS? … A middle-aged woman in Tuhovishta, Bulgaria, was greatly missing her husband who was working in Britain, so she livestreamed him an X-rated video of herself naked on her bed writhing in the throes of passion. Though she intended that only her husband see it, she accidentally posted it to her 2,000 Facebook friends.
STICK ‘EM UP! ,,, NO! WAIT! KA-BLAM! … Two men arranged to meet outside of a credit union in Everett, Wash., so that one could sell the other an iPhone. But the intended buyer pulled a fake gun to rob the seller. So the seller pulled a real gun and shot him.
HE WAS HERE A MINUTE AGO, OFFICER … A man who was arrested for his “seventh, eighth or ninth” drunken driving offense after he crashed his car into a snowbank in Wausau, Wisc., told police that it was the actor Ryan Reynolds who was driving, and not him.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, NEVER MIND, I’LL WALK … A man who police stopped while he was walking down the middle of the street in Milwaukee during a snowstorm at 4:30 a.m. apparently didn’t realize that the cops have to search anyone they allow into their cruiser. They found a pipe and a few grams of marijuana on him.
OBJECTION NOTED … A man in Zephyrhills, Fla., looked at a photo his buddy showed him of a woman he wanted to date. His pregnant girlfriend saw this, and did not like the idea of him looking at a picture of another woman, so, after a brief, spirited discussion, she stabbed him.
